Insecurity can be detrimental to a healthy, loving relationship when it’s expressed in the wrong ways. Most people on the planet have feelings of insecurity and inadequacy about some aspect of their lives, but they often don’t allow it to destroy associations or relationships. However, some people worry excessively about these things and can put strain on even the best of partnerships.
Insecurities about not being pretty enough or thin enough or good enough for your partner can manifest to your partner in many ways. He might think you’re always begging for a compliment, wanting him to reassure you constantly that he thinks you are pretty or thin or perfect the way you are. Some men consider this a sign of neediness, which can often push them away.
Another damaging aspect of insecurity is believing that your partner must be up to no good when he’s not spending time with you. Your mind paints vivid images about him seeing other women the moment you’re out of his sight because somewhere in there you don’t feel as though you’re good enough for him. When you confront him about these imagined insecurities, he’s shocked and offended because he thought things were going so well. All he hears is that you’re questioning who he’s with, what he was doing and demanding explanations for things that he hasn’t done wrong.
This form of insecurity can drive even the strongest relationships apart.
Mending the Rift
Most likely your partner would have been attracted to you because you seemed like a fun, happy, independent person. When you begin to change and try to cling to him or her in an effort to make sure they’re not going to leave you, this can often be enough to make them feel differently about you.
The number one biggest thing you can do to fix a rift caused by insecurity is to spend some time building your self-esteem on your own. It’s not your partner’s job to make you feel good about the way you look or act or dress. It’s not your partner’s job to make you feel happy. Those are your responsibilities alone and only you have the right tools to give yourself permission to be happy with who you are. Your partner chose to be with you because he or she was attracted to you and your personality. When you begin to change and your insecurities come out in destructive ways, you become a different person to the one they fell in love with.
